Learning To Trust Again
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007It’s been said, and widely accepted, that trust is the cornerstone, the very foundation of any healthy relationship including marriage. The collapse of a marriage leading to divorce is often due to one of the partner’s violating the trust.
Divorce is one of the three most stressful things that can happen in a person’s life. If you have recently gone through a divorce you know what I mean. One of the most important parts of your recovery from the havoc a broken relationship leaves in its wake is trust issues. After having been cheated, lied to, or been emotionally and/or physically taken advantage of, you are ready to believe that no one that is really trustworthy anymore.
But life doesn’t stop, and you must avoid and forget the painful memories from your past and forge ahead with renewed vigor. However, for this you must learn to trust again.
Learning To Trust Again After Divorce:
Dealing with divorce can be especially difficult for men, we are a skeptical bunch anyways. Loss of trust is one of the effects that surfaces long after the relationship has collapsed. Here’s how you can learn to trust again and deal with trust issues as they surface in the future:
Healing Effects of Time – It’s definitely a cliché. But time is a great healer for all who suffer from the emotional scarring after divorce. During this period of immense personal loss, time acts as a salve and soothes you emotionally, preparing you to learn to trust again.
Never Rush Things – Don’t be in a hurry to find someone special in a hurry. Learn to take things at your pace and giving yourself time to heal.
Trusting Yourself Again – It’s important for you to realize that you can’t trust someone if you can’t trust yourself. Don’t fall prey to guilt of the divorce. You must stay positive and accept that you haven’t done anything wrong. Learn to trust your judgment again.
Facing The Facts – Facing your fears and issues if half the battle won. Don’t ignore the fact that you have trust issues. Now that you have begun to trust yourself, you will feel lighter and better!
People Are Intrinsically Good – As a recent divorcee, you may believe that all the prospective boyfriends and girlfriend are liars and bad humans but the real truth is that almost every person is intrinsically good and situations are the culprits.
Join Support/Social/Counseling Groups – If you feel that you are unable to trust again after your recent divorce, you should consider counseling or support groups to discuss your feelings and help aid your emotional and mental recovery. Social groups will help you make new friends and within no time, you will learn how to trust again!
Communicate Openly – If you are unable to trust your new girlfriend you must communicate openly about these issues. Discuss your reasons and feelings. You may just be surprised to find that your new partner or friend actually empathizes with your situation.
Not being able to trust anyone ever again can have devastating effects on you and your life. In order to have a normal, healthy and fulfilling life and relationships, you must learn to trust again by dealing with your trust issues. I am sure my suggestions will aid you in learning to love and trust again after your divorce!
Jules